Thoughts... by the way

An aside. The one thing that makes sense of the play.

Wednesday, February 15

Figure Skating

I’m watching the Olympics and I am amazed. Not by the skiers or the curlers but surprisingly at the figure skaters. If you think I’m crazy try this combination.
Mute the television.
Pretend the skaters are prisoners and their captor forces them to wear such costumes as a form of punishment.
Pick your favorite mix of songs, play them, not too loud.
Watch with new eyes and ears.
With the exception of figure skating I could participate in every Olympic sport. I have no delusions of grandeur. I would not win, I would not qualify, but I could ski down the hill, I could sweep the ice, and I could I could skate in a circle and try to be fast. Under no circumstances could I begin to understand how to figure skate.
I’m serious, get over yourself and your machismo, mute the teley, put on some good tunes and watch it. It is incomprehensibly amazing.
And utterly devastating. A simple fact must be on every competitors mind. The winner doesn’t fall. If you fall you will not win. You probably will not get second or even third. Oh, and also, you’re spinning in circles, twirling in the air, turning, twisting, and jumping, on ice. All of which lend themselves to falling. Not to mention that unless you’re Russian you have but a fragment of a chance of winning because though they are ugly they skate well, really well. Better than you, and you know it, everyone knows it. Russians have a predisposition to ice skating like Americans have to being fat and greedy. They don’t mess up, they don’t fall, they will receive the highest short program score ever recorded and will break it two years from now. They will wear leg warmers and practice in hallways in designer tennis shoes like ballet dancers. They are even better ballet dancers than you. You may be prettier but you will not hear your national anthem tonight.
Yet you put on your fancy pants, you lace up your skates, and you hope. Not that the Russians will do poorly, but that you will not fall, that you will not fail. And yet nearly all do. It’s a beautifully devastating sport that I hadn’t truly seen until tonight.

3 Comments:

At 9:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is it that all of the most intriguing writing is found on someone's random blog? You make me smile...

 
At 6:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet you could beat bode! And I bet the male ice skaters would like you to give them a good whoopin! ;)

 
At 7:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. » »

 

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