Feed Jake. He's been a good dog.

My best friend, right through it all.
So if I die before I wake, feed Jake.

Now that that's out of the way, I went skiing a couple of nights ago and Jake saved the day. (Aldrich, not a dog.)
I'm pretty much a big idiot most of the time. Most all of the time. This story shows no exception. On the way to the slopes I told Jake to not let our night of skiing end without me attempting a 360 off of one of the ski jumps.
Time out.
That makes me sound like a skier. I am not. I rent my skis just like the guys on the bunny slopes wearing Carhart's and camo. But what I lack in experience I make up for with inexhaustible stupidity.
Guy at rental counter- "150's or 160's?"
Smirk- "170's." (I have little understanding of what this actually means.)
Guy at rental counter- "Your DIN is 4."
Doh- "What the heck is that?"
Guy at rental counter- "The amount of strain required to pop the skis off in a landing or a crash."
Macho- "Make it 5."
I was now using the equipment of a 6' 2", 220lbs man. I am neither 6'2" nor 220lbs. Just a little fella with a big dream, pull a 360.
The reminder came at 4 o'clock. The other guys waited below the jump to watch the catastrophe. I pushed off, dug in, then tucked. It is truly an odd feeling to be flying through the air, looking back at the jump you just hit, and realizing you're not going to make it all the way around before you hit the ground. I don't know what possibly made me think I could pull it off, this requires a skill set and knowledge I am not privy to. Nevertheless, I tried it three more times, so did the other guys. The second time knocked the wind out of me. On the third, I actually came close to spotting a landing but intsead landed (smashed) sideways having lost only one ski that time. All previous attempts left me sitting fifteen feet from a pile of rubble.
Soon after we began we had a crowd of onlookers and lucky chairlift passengers enjoying the show. Shouts and cheers accompanied every attempt and every failure.
Thanks to Jake's reminder, a good night of skiing turned into a memorable one.
And I feel like I've been in a car crash.